"THAT" moment

I have read this somewhere but don't really remember where. That the greatest motivation for a scientist and the reward they work for is the experience of that one night when he (or she) alone knows a particular secret hidden in the nature's treasure trove before they reveal it to the rest of the world next morning. It is to experience that feeling of discovery that we slog day and night. I have heard people talk of it in research pep talks. I've wanted to experience it and have been waiting for it ever since I started doing research. Through years of being a grad student and a postdoc; and I started my PhD in 2004. I call it the eureka moment. That moment when you see something in your experiments that you hadn't expected when you started. A pleasant surprise. I think that moment for me has come now. 

I am sure you've noticed that I said "think". You see, the way academic research works these days, you can't just jump out of your bathtub and start celebrating butt-naked. And it's never a moment. There is a long gestation period before you can be sure that you have got something good with you. A period when you have to repeat the experiment a number of times, so the observation is reproducible. You also have to think if you have got all the controls right and haven't missed anything. You have to do a number of supporting experiments that can explain the unexpected. Your work then has to be reviewed and approved by your "peers", who you hope don't have a conflict of interest in approving your observation. After all this, you have to be approved by a copy editor somewhere who wants to make sure that you have got your fonts right, the spacing right, the size of images right, their color right, the spellings and grammar right, etc., etc., etc. Only then will your work be published for consumption by the tax paying public that has funded the entire process. By then you would have lost all the enthusiasm to open the cork and it will be time to be back at the bench so you can continue with your efforts to save the humanity (from itself?). And wait for the next eureka moment. 

Novels and moving images.

Recently watched "Sherlock", BBC's modern reimagining of Arthur Conan Doyle's classic detective tale. My impression of the show, in one word, is disappointing. In the modern retelling, the famous resident of 221B Baker Street comes out as an arrogant, egocentric and pretentious. In the original stories Sherlock Holmes' attitude towards Watson is warm and friendly. But in the BBC series on several instances it comes across as downright condescending. Its the same with other characters too, like Lestrade. Also I think the new Mr. Holmes is too much into sentiment and melodrama; like the more-than-obvious hint at romance with Irene Adler character or the self-sacrificing leap to death at the end of second season. As a teenager I was a great admirer of Mr. Holmes and an avid reader of his adventures as documented by his friend and roommate, Dr.Watson. For me, he was the most detached observer and interpreter of facts. As such my judgement of Mr. Holmes' personality could have been clouded by idolatry. If the portrayal of the great detective comes across as being over-the-top and skewed to even a fan like me, then I would think the show needs to improve its character sketches. Of course, its quite possible that it could be just about me. I have also been a big fan of John Grisham's courtroom dramas. And I have not found a single movie based on his works to be as engaging as his novels. Infact, I can't think of a single movie that could be considered a worthy recreation on screen of a literary work. Guess its a matter of choice. Some just prefer their favourite characters as immobile images.   

  

The right turn

Few days ago, Uday Kiran, a young actor in the Telugu movies killed himself by hanging. He tasted fame and success when he was 20 with the success of his very first movie and ended it all at 33. His initial success was followed by a long list of box office failures and he was almost forgotten by an industry where a person is only as good as his ability to excite the cash registers. He was reportedly depressed for sometime about the way his career was shaping.

Jiah Khan entered the Hindi films as a teenager. In her first movie, she was the female protagonist to Indian cinema's biggest superstar Amitabh Bachchan. Unlike Uday Kiran, her debut movie did not do well with the audience and rest of her career panned out like his; almost forgotten. She committed suicide sometime last year. And she too reportedly suffered from depression.
These are but two celebrity examples of a problem that is very prevalent in my country; there are many stories that remain unheard and untold. While the peculiar socio-religious setting of India makes it a fertile breeding ground for mental health related problems such as depression, most people, even those from the educated class, refrain from seeking professional care either because of poor awareness or out of fear for social stigma. At the end of the examination cycle each year, the newspapers are scattered with reports of young boys and girls giving up on their lives  and dreams because of pre- or post-exam anxiety. Some of the brightest kids that enter our elite engineering, medical or management colleges do not graduate from there alive. A lot of these lives could have been saved if only they knew what the problem was and that there are easier ways to solve their problems than death. Any information that can instill hope in them will contribute in some way to avert the ultimate tragedy. I know this, because I have been there. I am still there; but trying to break free. In the hope that it might be of help, to me primarily and to someone else as a consequence, i have decided to chronicle my journey to overcome this psychological shackle in this blog. I will try to post as frequently as my work permits. Hope you will join me in this exciting ride.