Last week, a couple of my friends on Facebook shared this first hand report about an American woman’s traumatic experiences with sexual assaults during her visit to India. Anyone who reads the report cannot but sympathise with the trauma that the woman experienced, so much so that she had to be treated for PTSD. I wanted to say something about the facebook posts but all that I came up was confusion. I knew and wanted to say this is not the culture of my country. This is not an apt description of men who share my heritage. We are a country that preaches "Athidi devo bhava" (may the guest be treated as equal to god). This is probably a one off experience of a foreigner who, by her own confession, had come with a preset mind. May be she was overreacting to a curiosity of people on seeing a white woman participate in traditional festivities assuming them to be stares filled with sexual perversion. But I also knew that was my emotional side reacting. I knew the experience and horror that the woman described was real. I knew she must have faced sexual harassment, molestation and even rape. I knew in my heart of hearts that this cannot be brushed aside as a one off. This is now a trend, one that is very widely prevalent. Fortunately, there was another report on CNN iReports that gave an alternate perspective from a woman who too was part of the same group that spent time in India.
Of course, this is not the first time that we Indians have experienced emotions such as shame and disgust at how some men amongst us treat women. In fact news such as this and worse than this have become a little too common recently and we might be approaching a stage where we might react to news of sexual assaults just the way we react to corruption in government, with apathy. Just this week there was yet another incident of gangrape on a female journalist in Mumbai. This was followed by the now too familiar outrage, candle light marches, TV studio discussion, raucous in Parliament and self-righteous speeches by celebrities. But in my opinion, none of this is going to help with the problem that is getting to endemic proportions now. It will probably only assure us that we have not yet become an emotionless populace, despite the television and cinema. I think the problem is deep seated and well entrenched in our cultural psyche, the role and position of woman that was traditionally emphasised in our culture and how these are being re-defined in a constantly evolving society. There are probably some elements of this society that are not acclimatizing easily to this rapid rate of evolution. This is probably a phase in the evolution of our society and things will settle down in the course of time. In the short term though, there is no doubt that steps need to be taken to make India a safe place for women to not just survive, but also to live. This is a necessity for our country to progress and prosper. But what are these steps that would make our women feel safe once again? What can we do to tackle the ugliness that has presently engulfed our psyche? Honestly, I have no answers to these questions. I have neither the expertise nor the experience to come up with solutions this vexing problem. What I do have is the ability to observe the going on around me. My intention in this post is to share some of these observations.
Many people have pointed to the inefficient and insufficient policing of our streets. There have also been suggestions to enact laws such as to make rape an offence that can be punished with death. No one can disagree with the first of these suggestions. There is no doubt that our police is severely understaffed and not very well trained, especially when it comes to matters related to women and children. Also, better enforcement of the existing laws would also help. Its been my long held belief that if there is any institution that has let India and her people down the most in these 67 years of independence, it is the police and the judiciary. Most problems Indians face today wouldn't be there if the judiciary and the police fulfill their constitutionally entrusted duties efficiently.
Another aspect (probably a more important one) that needs to be studied is the role that our society (that is, all of us) plays in these crimes. How much does our hypocrisy have to do with this? What role does the moral policing, at the family and societal levels, play? What role do immature measures such as outlawing mannequins advertising lingerie play? What role does the treatment of women in the families of those committing these crimes play in shaping their mentality? We are a society that cannot tolerate an unmarried man and woman living together. We shut our eyes to natural hormonal changes taking place in teenagers and young adults. In the name of morality, most men and women stay away from a serious physical relationship late into their 20s and 30s unless they are given a stamp of approval by the society in the name of marriage. How much do these attitudes contribute to the present perverse behavior of some? How much does the cultural shock of moving from a traditional/rural setting to a more liberal/urban setting contribute? How much have our movies contributed, especially with their culture of "item songs" (such as this and this) whose main objective is to titillate men? Will not treating sex as a sin help? Will it help to have a 911-like emergency response system? Will it help to not criminalize production and exhibition of pornography to grown ups? Will it help to legalize prostitution? Will it help if we do not objectify feelings such as love and beauty? Overall, will loosening the society's grip on individual's life help improve the present situation?
These are just some questions bugging me and most certainly, I am not the first one to think about them. I am sure there are people that are a lot smarter, and occupy positions that matter, who can, or have to, find answers. Otherwise, our future generations may look back at this part of their history with nothing but repugnance.
